Things I said to Her Indoors at the weekend

• I can't find my towel
• In the laundry? But I've only used it for a week
• Yes, dear
• I'm not grumpy, I'm not that old and I haven't farted
• Oops
• Tea and toast?
• Only a bit burnt- I've opened the window
• I know it's cold
• It's shut now, dear
• I'll write the shopping list
• Because I can't read your writing
• You had the pen last night
• Sudoko
• No I didn't say that!
• Wish I had
• Nothing, dear
• I'm off
• I'm back
• Bugger, I forgot it
• No, of course I'll get it, bye
• I'm back, the latte's on the bench
• But the footy's on
• OK, but the rugby's on this evening
• Thanks
• I said 'thanks'
• No, I didn't mean it like that
• We've seen this episode hundreds of times
• I've seen this episode hundreds of times
• Wake up
• It's 7 o'clock, I thought you'd want to put on the potatoes
• Yes, of course I can, it's just ......
• No, I did tell you about the rugby
• Half time, do you want me to mash them?
• Mmmmm, that was delicious sweetheart, thanks
• Jeeez, I'm tired, long day wasn't it?
• No, I know, not as long as yours
• My little nest of vipers
• Nothing important, 'night dearest