Thursday, November 13, 2008

Gnome alone away from home

BigSis has tarted up my Blogsite and set up a Blog Roll for me which reminds me of a delicate situation that I was confronted with this morning.
You know how it is when staying with friends/relatives - you're not used to how things work and are keen to do the right thing particularly when it comes to bathrooms.
Let me, gentle reader, remind you that over recent days I have consumed a reasonable amount of airline fare which, at the best of times, is barely palatable, at others simply disgusting but at all times of dubious heritage (especially when concocted in Asia). This can and does lead to one's gastric juices becoming somewhat confused with the result that they crack the poos and refuse to work normally.
So, imagine my horror on discovering that, after answering the urgent call of nature, I was confronted by (and I know no other way to put this) skidmarks.
There, I've said it.
Well, I looked around for a bogbrush but to my dismay found nothing.............but wait, I spied a very peculiar implement lurking in a corner. Something I'd never seen before (but will again as I intend to present Matron with one - Bigsis says that I can get one in Waitrose tomorrow).
This thing consisted of quite a nice longish gaily coloured plastic handle with a claw on the end! I kid you not! I then discovered that you can push a sort of button and the claw becomes alive and becomes a grappling iron (or, more accurately, grappling plastic).
Being an extraordinarily logical person, I decided that the purpose of this implement was to unblock the dunny; but this wasn't my immediate problem.
As well as logical I am exceedingly bright (despite what Matron may think), so, using my well-honed improvisational skills, I selected a suitable wad of loopaper, took the plastigrapple (as the implement was now to be called) and in no time at all eliminated any signs of the aforesaid and offending skidmarks.
BigSis has subsequently explained to me the finer art of using the plastigrapple and I just hope that Oz Customs will allow it into the cxountry - is Australia ready for it, I ask myself.

1 comment:

Boyfromoz - eldest daughter said...

Hi Dad! Great to see you have left your mark at least somewhere in the world! Pity everyone has to know about it, somethings should be left private.

Came home to get a bit of tlc from matron after rather large day/night on Friday tasting the Melbourne Wine Show exhibits. Started at 8:00am and finished 4:30am following day. Needless to say rather sore head but well worth it. Unfortuntately matron went to Andrea Rieu and youngest and eldest sons were not interested in looking after bear with a sore head ....... their time will come!

Must be off and look forward to hearing more about your adventures, please send love to everyone.

Love you Dad,

Your eldest xoxox